Note: The following is a post I made for my Facebook page, Robots in Hats, and is obviously less serious than some of my other posts.
You might find yourself asking, why put robots in hats? To answer this, first we must ask, why bother
with robots at all?
Of course, robots are great at a number of tasks. We already use them for repetitive industrial
tasks or extremely dangerous situations, but the potential applications are far
from exhausted. From minimum wage fastfood
preparation where apathetic teens can't be bothered to accurately position
cheese on a sandwich to dangerous mines where human lives are still risked
daily, our society would benefit greatly from automation.
At first there is a concern about putting people out of
work, and although I could pass this off as the nature of progress--for it
surely is--the efficiency of pervasive robotic production would eventually
lower the cost of living substantially, reducing the number of households with
multiple jobs, thus allowing the natural unemployment rate to rise without
compromising our standard of living.
Of course, there will still be jobs. Most obviously, there will be a sharp
increase in robot-related jobs: design, programming, maintenance, etc. Moreover, much of the public would still
prefer human-to-human interaction (and, to be fair, our capabilities of
computational linguistics and speech recognition are severely lacking). Many jobs in human relations should be
created, allowing for a smooth transition into a robot-rich society and simply
facilitating comfort amongst our fellow men.
In fact, this shift towards jobs where the primary
requirements are communication skills and kindness would necessitate the
nurturing of such skills within our own people, improving the nature of society
as a whole. Even those not immediately
employed as such will benefit through empathy and imitation as well as the more
apparent reward of never having to deal with frustrated sandwichsmiths during
their day-to-day.
So, why put robots in hats?
Simply hiring smiling faces to tell you to ignore the robot behind the
curtain will not be enough to integrate them into our society. There will be robots out amongst people,
whether delivering food (within a restaurant or across a city), cleaning
messes, or otherwise diligently doing their duties where they can be seen. At first this may seem acceptable, and to
most it would be. But there are those
among our society who would have problems with this. There are many who, through misunderstanding,
would not be accepting of the robots.
There are others who understand perhaps too well that robots are not
people, and the likelihood of vandalism against autonomous machines operating
amongst people would be disturbingly high.
As such, it is necessary to create the illusion that robots
are both friendly and relatable. Most
efforts to this end so far have been to make them more human, but as we
progressed, we discovered the Valley of the Uncanny. If you've ever seen one of those Japanese
robots made to look and act like a human and found them to be somewhat
off-putting if not downright creepy, then you're already familiar with the
Valley of the Uncanny if not by name.
Yet there's a bizarre polarity to the behavior of the human brain:
things that are obviously not human we have a tendency to attribute human
qualities to, be they abstract personification of actions or motivations or the
interpretation as a human visage--In the Man in the Moon we see a face where
there is none, for instance. Yet the
more human something becomes, the more we scrutinize it, and contrarily, the
more we are readily aware of what makes something not human, the more
comfortable we are accepting that fact while letting it flirt with the idea of
humanity. Therefore, something that is
almost human but not quite often appears to us less human than something only slightly
human but obviously not.
Many of the biggest successes of relatable robots have been
in entertainment, not academia or industry, and often it only takes a few
suggestions of personification: a couple arms and a couple eyes is enough in
the case of Wall-E, where the shape of his eye casings as they rotate slightly
additionally serves to suggest the eyebrows that gave Johnny 5 much of his
personality. And although such
mechanisms would be sufficient in most cases, twin cameras and fully
articulated grasping arms are not necessary on most robots and would instead be
costly over-engineering, and if you try to convince an engineer to add such
things simply to make the robot "relatable" or "friendly",
he would probably scoff before quietly contemplating why his eyes and hands
didn't make him either of those things.
Yet a hat can be worn by any robot. It doesn't need a discernible head; just
something that can under the wildest of stretches be assumed as mildly
head-like. It's headishness need not
determine the appropriateness of a hat; the hat will make it a head. The hat can be adhered by whatever means
necessary, and if the robot is manipulating molten metals, operating within
active volcanoes, or otherwise partaking of tasks that might be less than
friendly to the typical hat, then give it a hat of metal. No one will care. It might even appear more appropriate.
Take note that the type of hat is crucial. A modern helmet does more to make a person
look like a robot than the other way around, and a Viking helmet might not
exactly be the symbol of friendliness we seek.
A ball cap could help humanize a robot, but otherwise it is entirely
boring. It seems evident that the best
hat would be formal in nature, whether a top hat, bowler, fedora, or otherwise. It not only helps us identify with the robot,
it makes the robot seem dignified to be doing its job. Also, robots in top hats are hilarious.