The Rules I Live By

For a few years now I've reduced my approach to life to six simple rules.  I don't remember for the most part what inspired them, but they've proven consistently appropriate to my life.  They are as follows:

1. Enjoy yourself.

2. Don't be a jerk.

3. Question everything.

4. Take action.

5. Put hats on robots.

6. Bacon.

Unlike most attempts at laws or commandments, they don't apply to specific situations, but each apply in many situations (except, of course, for Rule 5), and they overlap significantly in application.  However, they must be interpreted directly and fully; they must not be interpreted to justify our actions, but our actions should be made to fit the rules.

For instance, the first rule, "Enjoy yourself", is not a demand to pursue hedonism and selfish entertainment.  If this were the case, the rule would be "Do what you want".  Instead, the rule demands that we find enjoyment regardless of your situation.  Pessimism helps no one, least of all ourselves.  Yet often we've all used the excuse that we're "having a bad day", and we use this both to keep ourselves down and to justify our poor behavior around others.  We believe sometimes that they should be trying to make us feel better or at least staying out of our way, but we can hope at best for the latter, and at worst for confrontation.  However, if we try to be happy even when the universe conspires against us--to smile and be friendly even when we our hearts are not fully in it--we can make others happy, and then they will be more inclined to want to make us happy, or, failing that, we might trick ourselves into being happy.

What most people don't seem to understand is that emotions often act as feedback loops.  Certainly, other people's emotions are not the sole drive of our emotions, and our emotions are not forced upon others, but to some significant degree anger tends to beget anger, happiness begets happiness, and so on.  Moreover, anger, sadness, and fear feedback through simple causality independent of empathy; they tend to cloud our judgment, and the more we maintain these emotions, the harder it is to figure out how to create a situation for us to be happy again.

As for the second rule, "Don't be a jerk", it is important to note that there is no conditional part of the statement.  It does not say "Do not be a jerk unless they really deserve it", or "Do not actively be a jerk".  Don't be a jerk even to other jerks.  Also, it is a jerk thing to stand by and not help where we can, even if we're not ourselves hindering them either.  It's been said that "Every man is guilty of the good he does not do" (which I read is a rather interpretive translation of a quote by Voltaire), and I believe this.

On a related note, I cannot understand why people dismiss help with the claim that “I don’t need any help.”  To me, it is not a sign of weakness to accept help.  It does not demonstrate that you could not complete the task without help, but it instead shows that you are willing to facilitate both progress and camaraderie.  As such, I believe we should help those who don’t need it (but, of course, try more so to help those who do) and accept help even if we don’t need it (as long as the offer is sincere, and we are not taking advantage of our helper).

The third rule used to be phrased as “Learn something”, but when I heard the Science Channel’s slogan, “Question everything”, I decide this fit the purpose better.  An alternative, perhaps even better phrasing would be “Better yourself”, but many of the other aspects of this particular phrasing are covered by the first two rules, so I chose to stick with the more specific “Question everything”.

As far as its interpretation, it is pretty direct.  It demands that we learn about our universe, about each other, and about ourselves.  The only implications in the rule are its interaction with the first two rules: that we use what we learn to better our lives and the lives of others.

The first three rules were the original list when I created them (back when it still contained “Learn something”), and the last three were added later, each at a different time.  Rule 4, if I remember correctly, was actually added last, but being noticeably more serious than the last two, was inserted in the middle of the list.

Moreover, the first three rules were not made to convince myself to obey them.  They were essentially just a summary of what I had already learned to do with myself.  Rule 4, however, was added because I felt I was spending too much time planning and thinking then overthinking, and not enough time accomplishing anything.  Of course, Rule 3 dictates that we reflect upon what we can, but if this is all we do, then we’ll ultimately accomplish nothing.  As such, Rule 4 resulted as an application of Rule 3 to itself, and a new rule was seen to be necessary.  And, so, it is sometimes necessary to accept that we cannot know all the variables before we act, and part of ‘questioning everything’ is learning through experimentation.  We must learn as we go, and adapt likewise, thinking on our feet.

Rules 5 and 6 are, in many ways, extensions of Rule 1.  Admittedly, unlike the other rules, they are a bit more specific to my life.  I particularly enjoy these rules, and choose to maintain them as part of my rules, but they also suggest that the rules can be personalized and adapted to anyone’s needs or wants.  Although I believe that the first four are, for the most part, universal, they can sometimes benefit from additional rules.  I recommend, though, that if you add your own rules, you keep it simple.  Don’t try to create specific case-based rules for everything, or else you’ll lose yourself in the specifics.  The rules should not, at their core, dictate your specific actions, but instead should motivate them.

As far as why I chose those particular rules, firstly, bacon is its own reason.  As for the robots in hats, I will post here immediately following this entry something I wrote for a Facebook page I created to endorse the cause, Robots in Hats, which describes why I believe we should follow Rule 5.